Posts Tagged ‘war’

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Meeting an Old Friend.

May 20, 2013

They hadn’t seen each other since before the war.

The last time they had met, petty worries about locking your door or whether the oven was on still existed, children still asked for toys at Christmas.

Times had changed. George had changed. He could just about remember a time when his back leg didn’t ache, when his thoughts were not so soupy. Just about.

The old dog screwed up his failing eyes to try to make out what the big brown shape lumbering towards him from across the road was. It certainly wasn’t the bus he was waiting for. Buses didn’t cross roads like that.

The brown smudge got much larger until it filled George’s vision, he took a little step back.

“George?” a familiar voice boomed above him, far too loud and close, as always.

Through the cloudy mess of his thoughts a bolt of recognition cut a path through George’s mind.

“Bill?” he whispered in disbelief as he craned his neck up to behold his old friend. “I can’t believe it! You’re still alive!”

“Hah, as if I would let a little war kill me off!” Bill smiled.

“Have I got some stories for you…” George sighed.

So they talked until the sun went down.

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Bit of a departure from the norm there, not sure what came over me.

Thanks to Dannie for the image, which is obviously from the Guardian. Obviously. Dannie.

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The Secret Love.

April 21, 2013

Bob was king of the rabbits, that was just the way it was. It had been that way since he could remember, and he could remember pretty far back. At least as far back as when Gary Barlow had blonde hair and Take That weren’t every mum’s favourite.

Consequently it came as a shock the day his throne was taken from him by his best friend, Cher the capybara. Cher had been his best friend and advisor since the days of Boyzone (King Bob tended to use boybands as a kind of chronological landmark). Cher had grown tired of Bob’s excessive foot tapping, digging and breeding, she felt it was destroying the kingdom and that she could do a better job.

There was only one thing to do. Cher wrote to Cilla Black and the next thing King Bob knew he was being dethroned via the medium of Surprise Surprise. Cilla raised an army and embarked on a lengthy campaign of war against King Bob, it lasted 2 whole series and gained the highest ratings ever for the show. It was not a very nice surprise at all for the king.

After his defeat the king leapt on his old friend’s nose and begged to know what all this was about.

Incredible emotion.

“What have I done wrong?!” he sobbed.
“You’ve been a right crap king, Bob,” Cher explained.
“I apologise, I had no idea! Why didn’t you tell me before? I would have changed it all for you…” Bob hesitated then, and took a breath.
“But why?” Cher whispered.
“Because I love you, you silly goose! I always have!”

This was pretty convenient, as Cher secretly loved him too, so they got married and ruled the kingdom fairly together for a thousand years.

Cilla doesn’t enter into wars lightly, and was well cheesed off about the whole affair.

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Thanks to Amy for this one, not sure where you got it.

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Valentine’s Special.

February 12, 2010

Since it’s Valentine’s Day on Sunday, and loads of people will be kissing each other and what have you, I thought this was a supreme opportunity to share this mighty love-filled image:

If we were all like this dog, cat and rat, there would be no war, the world would be one gigantic hug.

It might get a bit sexy at times as well.

Valentine’s Suggestion –

If you haven’t got your partner anything this year because you forgot/can’t be bothered, why not send them a link to this blog as a present?

More images, a story, and A VIDEO here.