Posts Tagged ‘sheep’

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Mutual Despair.

April 23, 2013

The harshest times can bring the greatest of enemies together. It was something Terry the mountain goat had seen scrawled on a napkin one time when he was drunk. In fact, he might have been the one that had written it. He couldn’t remember.

Regardless, one baffling summer, the words rung true for him.

Tiddles the cat was in a foul mood as always. It was mid July, and his name was still Tiddles. All the other cats relentlessly took the piss out of him for his stupid name.

“Tiddles!? That’s a right shit name!” they would say, inventively.

Tiddles knew he had a right shit name, but he hoped one day that he would wake up and be called ‘Dave’, or ‘Hansel’, or ‘Hulk Hogan’. Something ace like that. But today never seemed to be that day, and he secretly knew neither would tomorrow. So Tiddles was frequently super cheesed off about everything.

He hated all things, he even hated your face.

It should be noted that in the future it will snow in Summer, because the weather is already getting pretty messed up nowadays, so it can be assumed that nothing will make sense in about 20 years or so (that’s science). It should also be noted that this story takes place in the future.

It was a snowy summer day when Tiddles bumped into Terry. Terry had fallen out with his wife over whether or not they should tape Catchphrase. He was very upset because he had inevitably lost the dispute and would miss this week’s episode, so he had stepped outside to have a cry.

Tiddles was enraged.

“What are you doing crying out here again?! You stupid goat-sheep-man!” Tiddles had met Terry last week under similar circumstances and immediately decided that they should be Ultimate Enemies for no particular reason.

“Sh-she won’t let me tape Catchphrase! It’s a new series and I just want to see what it’s like!” Terry sniffled, a single tear descended down his cheek.

“I don’t care!” Tiddles screamed, “I’m called Tiddles! Do you know how that feels?! I have a stupid name!!”

They sobbed together for hours, all the pain and despair they felt about their respective predicaments howled through their bones and out into the crispy summer air.

Then suddenly, they stopped. Terry looked at Tiddles. Tiddles looked at Terry.

“Tiddles, I just remembered, I have magic horns. If you touch my horn and wish for a different name, it will be so.”

“You’d do that for me?” Tiddles’ face lit up. “Come to think of it, I have a VCR at my house, you can come ’round and tape Catchphrase there!”

And so, Tiddles (later to be renamed Hulk Hogan) jumped on Terry’s back and directed him to his home where they taped Catchphrase, and everyone was shockingly happy in the end.

To my house!

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Thanks to Miriam for the image. I do not know where you found it.

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The Spooky Hen (AoA Halloween Special).

October 31, 2011

To begin, I would like to say this:

Today’s post has an actual picture, scanned in, from real life. From real life. It has been stuck to the wall in Animal on Animal Towers for over a year waiting to be scanned.  It’s even got scratches on it from where people have touched it. Astonishing, in this day and age. I think I need a sit down. And so, here is today’s excellent Animal on Animal HALLOWEEN SPECIAL post!

“Hello.” Whispered Betsy (full name Heavenstobetsy).

Wellington’s ears pricked up as he turned to his brother, George. “Did you just say something?”

George had fallen out with Wellington the previous night over what they should watch on TV. George wanted to watch Hollyoaks as it was just becoming exciting, but Wellington was having none of it and wanted to watch Scooby Doo. After some harsh words George had decided to stop talking to his brother, and so when asked the innocent question above, he turned his back.

“No, you silly sheep person!” Betsy whispered again, closer in Wellington’s ear, “It was me!”

Wellington was unsure if it was anatomically possible for him to turn his head to see whatever it was that was speaking to him, and thought it best not to try lest he strain his sheepy neck. The whispereing, however, had convinced him that a ghost was stood on his back.

“A GHOST!” Wellington screamed, bucking and leaping about like he did that time after a spicy curry, desperately trying to rid himself of his ghostly passenger.

George reluctantly spun around to see what the commotion was about, instantly seeing the truth. Betsy was a hen, not ghost. Unless she was a ghost hen, but the likelihood was that she was not a ghost hen as they had become extinct by the 1950s.

George relayed the information to Wellington, who by now was rolling on the floor trying to get the ghost/hen off his back, yet Betsy still clung tightly to her host. At the news from his brother, Wellington finally calmed down and got back to his feet.

“Oh. Sorry about that, hen who is not a ghost hen.” Wellington apologised meekly, feeling more than a little silly.

“That’s okay,” Betsy smiled, “BECAUSE I AM A GHOST HEN!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!” She cackled as she lifted him into the sky, much to the astonishment of George, who then watched his brother being airlifted off into the distance by the maniacle hen.

“Bugger me.” George grumbled as he headed over to the shed. It was time to bring his alter-ego ‘Super Sheep’ out of retirement again…

Thanks to Kieren for the image, taken from real life.

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A momentous occasion.

May 5, 2010

You’re not going to cocking believe this.

At some point in the past a chicken stood on a sheep, and someone took a photo. But that’s not all. Look closer…

Yes. Oh my Christy. Another sheep is looking at the camera and a cow sign in the background looks like it’s standing on that sheep’s back!

Get your head around that. A sheep with an actual real life chicken stood on it, and another sheep that looks like it has a pretend small cow stood on it, in the same picture.

Astonishing.

Image found by Kieren, no idea where she found it.

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Starlings on a sheep.

February 1, 2010

It’s not just any bird, it’s an effing starling, and it’s not just one of them, it’s effing two. And they are stood on a sheep.

Fictitious story behind the image:

The starlings, Martha and Bertie, were city workers. Their high pressure jobs in accounting and hostage negotiations (respectively) were starting to test their previously happy relationship.

One day after a row, they decided to go on a make or break holiday. They decided to sit on a sheep’s arse for two blissful weeks (starlings do that for holidays because it’s cheaper than going to Mallorca).

Thankfully, the holiday did wonders for them and they now sleep in the same bed again and everything!