Archive for the ‘Amphibians’ Category

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The Opera Singers’ folly.

March 8, 2012

“OH MY GOD THERE IS A SPIDER THE SIZE OF MY FACE, ON MY FACE!” Screamed Phil the frog.

“Phil! It’s just Barry. Stop being so dramatic. You’ll make us all deaf!” Arnold the tortoise was in a bad mood. Their operatic performance from the previous night had been reviewed poorly, and now Barry and Phil were arsing about during rehearsal.

“Sorry, everyone. But Barry! You really must stop jumping onto my head, you are quite scary looking!” Phil glanced up at his spider friend.

Secretly, Barry was quite hurt at this remark, because he couldn’t help being a scary spider, but he kept it to himself.

The trio had met during an Official Opera Singer’s House Party the previous year, (which is a lot like a normal house party, except everyone has beautiful, melodic voices). By the end of the night they found themselves in a corner drunkenly discussing the pros and cons of forming an operatic trio. The “cons” column consisted solely of a hauntingly realistic rendering of a prison convict, which suggested that they didn’t fully understand what they were doing. The doodle of a baseball player in the “pros” column confirmed the theory.

Still, somehow, they had managed to become classical music stars. Touring the world and appearing on Classic FM repeatedly. They had made it.

But cracks had begun to show.

Barry had taken to eating spaghetti hoops before going on stage, he wouldn’t go on without them. Phil never took anything seriously any more, he kept writing rude jokes on the toilet walls. Arnold was getting exasperated with the whole thing.

“Listen! I’m getting sick of both you! We nee-” Arnold did not have time to finish his sentence.

Suddenly, a Man’s Hand picked them up! It was the biggest Man’s Hand they had ever seen.

Frozen with fear, the three were carried towards a burning barbecue.

This was it. It was over, they were going to be barbecued alive. Oh buggering hell.

But then, the Man’s Hand put them down on the grass, and said:

“Opera Singers! Can you sing for me? We are having a barbecue and it would be lovely to have some music.”

After a short moment spent trying to work out how a Man’s Hand could talk, the trio burst into song. They gave the performance of their lives and received a standing ovation.

It was their last performance together. Barry went to rehab for his spaghetti hoops problem, Phil was arrested for writing profanities on toilet walls, and Arnold wrote a book called “Don’t be an opera singer based on a drunken conversation at party.”

Thanks to the excellent Mike and Steve for both sending me this image! They found it here.

Don’t forget to send your entries in for the Title Competition, everyone!

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The Legendary Strawberry.

December 2, 2011

There was once a Legendary Strawberry. It was said that it had the power to grant whoever kissed it with immortality, for the rest of their lives.

Steven and Barry were two young good for nothings. They hung about the streets of Tortoise Town, drinking cider, playing dice, and getting into trouble with the law.

One day, in a game of cards, they won a mysterious, tea-stained map. Scrawled in archaic lettering at the top were the words “Legendary Strawberry – Aww Yeah”, and below was an erratic line leading to a promising looking cross.

Realising that they had found the route to immortality (for the rest of their lives), excitement gripped the pair in a crunchy vice of excitedness. They set off immediately on the trail, hoping to get back in time for Bullseye on Challenge TV that night.

After about half an hour, Steve was so tired that he asked Barry to carry him. Barry was not hugely pleased by this, but since they were buddies he thought it would be the right thing to do. Besides, he would be owed a piggy-back, which was always a good thing to have in the bank.

By around 7pm they found themselves atop a mighty hill, staring at the Legendary Strawberry, exactly where the map had it marked. The thrill of standing before such a luscious fruity legend made Barry drop the map, it floated away on the wind, like a feather, except it was a map.

‘Kiss it!’ Barry yelled up to Steve (not noticing the map had flown away).

Steve did as he was bid, and a fruity pink haze descended over him.

‘My turn!’ Barry shouted, despite Steve clearly being within normal talking to people range.

He leapt up and gave the strawberry an excellent smooch, knocking Steve off his back in the process. The same fruity haze enveloped him.

Everything was good for about five minutes. They celebrated their strawberry-based gift by dancing about and high-fiving and all sorts of other cool stuff, but when they turned to go home and catch Bullseye they realised the map had gone.

‘Bollocks.’ Barry said.

With no way of finding a way home without the map, they elected to live within the strawberry for eternity. They had long and happy lives, dying at the ripe old age of 82 (Steve) and 82 and one day (Barry).

Many thanks to the lovely Kieren for this, who got it from here.

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The Glue Monster.

September 26, 2011

The worst thing about putting glue on your fins and then patting your friends on the back is your flipper becomes glued to your friend’s back. This is what Thomas, Percy, and James discovered to their surprise just last week.

Nobody was sure how they got the glue, perhaps it washed up on the shore thanks to the Disgraceful Behaviour of Humans (DBH)? But my God, their respective mothers were not pleased. For the next week each mother had to have enough food in for three hungry turtles! Each night the “Glue Monster” (as the kids had dubbed themselves) went to each of their mother’s houses, and each wanted to be fed every time! It was outrageous. Some would say this was greedy of them, and those people would be right.

Little does James know, but his mum took the food costs directly out of his university fund, so he is destined for a call centre. That’ll teach him.

After the week was up the glue seemed to loosen and they freed themselves by playing a tug of war game in the park. Most people thought Thomas would win and put down £5 bets to prove it, but in the end nobody won as the glue snapped and all the turtles fell over at the same time. It was comedic, but angry gamblers don’t tend to care for comedy and so there was a lot of shouting and threats until they were refunded.

After the partially traumatic event the turtles all ran home, only to be grounded as soon as they got there for “Shitting about with glue.”

From then on they never even used Pritt Stick.

Thanks to Dannie for the image, which was obviously from here.

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The Disgraced Ski Instructor.

January 19, 2011

Sorry for the delay in getting back into this, I should imagine you have been baying wildly into the night sky waiting for the next fantastic Animal on Animal post. Well, bay no more, you strange person, here is a post for you.

Professor McJonasbrothers was an accomplished ski instructor, respected in his field (which you couldn’t see because it was covered with snow*), and loved by his students. The latter was what got him arrested.

*a hilarious joke

Disgraced by his exploits, the Official Council To Outright Properly Unify Stuff Encompassing Skiing (or OCTOPUSES) banished him from places with snow for the foreseeable future.

Devastated, Professor McJonasbrothers exiled himself to Africa to help him forget about his past. He was truly sorry for what he’d done. Deep down he was a good tortoise, but he had been watching far too many soaps which had warped his view of the world to the point where he thought it was perfectly acceptable to behave like a right bastard.

Now he saw the error of his ways.

One day, in Africa, he was sat on a log contemplating his stupidity and all that he had lost, when suddenly three butterflies appeared. They all introduced themselves, and Professor McJonasbrothers was very happy to meet them. He told them of his story and how he came to be there.

The butterflies didn’t care much for his story, they were adventurers, and they wanted to sail the seas and get drunk and dig for stuff on islands. The three of them were very persuasive and managed to convince the Professor to be their boat.

And so the troupe of new companions set out to sea. It is said that they discovered the Ilse of Wight.

Please be aware this image is copyright of Byron Yu. (Byron, if you want this image off the site please let me know, I can’t afford to pay you any money). It is from National Geographic, and was discovered by Tom. Thanks Tom.

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Video Thrills.

August 24, 2010

It’s video time again at Animal on Animal. Tortoises seem to be the preferred animal to be on when it comes to other animals travelling.

WARNING: The music is very annoying.

So yes, a lazy flipping cat using a tortoise to ferry it about. Not exactly heart warming, but that’s life I guess.

As a side note, the well of images I have is starting to look a little unhealthy, so if you come across any Animals on Animals please send them here (link on the right).

Cheers to Sawan for this. He got it from that Youtube place.

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Terrapin mania.

July 27, 2010

You may remember several months ago I kicked off this site with the most astonishing image anyone could possibly imagine.

Since then there have been many fantastic Animal on Animal entries, so in an effort to guarantee their place in history, the terrapin species has returned:

Clearly these  particular terrapin folk saw the site and thought they could do better, and while it may lack the charm of the previous terrapin entry, it certainly does a good job of compensating for that by the sheer number of terrapins present, I count at least four billion terrapins in that image, which by anyone’s standard is quite a lot.

Well done terrapins, and well done Lindsay for taking the photo and sending it in.

Well done everyone, just for being here today.

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A mouse on frog.

January 25, 2010

Okay, here’s a bonus one to keep the ball rolling. If you keep sending me stuff I’ll keep the posting at a steady rate, at the moment I’m looking at every Monday and Friday having an update. Please tell your friends and keep sending me your fancy pictures (link over on the right).

Today we have the momentous pairing of a mouse and a frog. I’d like to think that the mouse is rich, and has paid the frog a large amount of money to chauffeur him around and impress “the ladies”.

If I was a lady, I would be impressed. He’s the kind of mouse you’d take home to show the folks.

Nabbed from the nice people over at National Geographic.