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The Legendary Strawberry.

December 2, 2011

There was once a Legendary Strawberry. It was said that it had the power to grant whoever kissed it with immortality, for the rest of their lives.

Steven and Barry were two young good for nothings. They hung about the streets of Tortoise Town, drinking cider, playing dice, and getting into trouble with the law.

One day, in a game of cards, they won a mysterious, tea-stained map. Scrawled in archaic lettering at the top were the words “Legendary Strawberry – Aww Yeah”, and below was an erratic line leading to a promising looking cross.

Realising that they had found the route to immortality (for the rest of their lives), excitement gripped the pair in a crunchy vice of excitedness. They set off immediately on the trail, hoping to get back in time for Bullseye on Challenge TV that night.

After about half an hour, Steve was so tired that he asked Barry to carry him. Barry was not hugely pleased by this, but since they were buddies he thought it would be the right thing to do. Besides, he would be owed a piggy-back, which was always a good thing to have in the bank.

By around 7pm they found themselves atop a mighty hill, staring at the Legendary Strawberry, exactly where the map had it marked. The thrill of standing before such a luscious fruity legend made Barry drop the map, it floated away on the wind, like a feather, except it was a map.

‘Kiss it!’ Barry yelled up to Steve (not noticing the map had flown away).

Steve did as he was bid, and a fruity pink haze descended over him.

‘My turn!’ Barry shouted, despite Steve clearly being within normal talking to people range.

He leapt up and gave the strawberry an excellent smooch, knocking Steve off his back in the process. The same fruity haze enveloped him.

Everything was good for about five minutes. They celebrated their strawberry-based gift by dancing about and high-fiving and all sorts of other cool stuff, but when they turned to go home and catch Bullseye they realised the map had gone.

‘Bollocks.’ Barry said.

With no way of finding a way home without the map, they elected to live within the strawberry for eternity. They had long and happy lives, dying at the ripe old age of 82 (Steve) and 82 and one day (Barry).

Many thanks to the lovely Kieren for this, who got it from here.

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One comment

  1. Immortality strawberry is cool! Shame about missing Bullseye though.



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