It Started with Rollerskates.

October 12, 2011

The day started mundanely for Jessop the dog. Lazily shaking off his dream filled sleep, he wandered around the house checking everything was in the right place. The hoover was in the cupboard. Good. The fish were dancing around in their tank. Check. The rug was aligned perfectly to the wall. Nicely.

Jessop did his checks every morning, it helped him stay calm and ease into the day. It reassured him that nothing astonishing and scary would occur.

But then he saw the rollerskates on the bottom of the stairs.

“Bollocks.” Jessop grumbled, ambling cautiously closer to the offending article.

The rollerskates should have been in the wardrobe where they always were. Something was not right. Nobody had used the rollerskates since “The Accident” the day they were bought. The old dog continued to edge closer, sniffing the air, until he was stood next to the skates. He would have to return them to their rightful place, this was a big deal.

Except it wasn’t a big deal. It was A TRAP!

In an instant the imaginatively named KitKat the cat was upon Jessop, screaming incomprehensible nonsense such as “Habbubalubballur!” at the top of her tiny lungs.

Jessop flew into a panic. He couldn’t see because his very vision was clouded with the terrible blackness of fear. His heart thundered as though it were a thousand frightened wilder beast stampeding down a gorge after a tiny lion cub.

He ran.

Narrowly avoiding the fish tank, he crashed into the hoover and upset the perfectly aligned rug. As he would later recall in his memoirs, it was “unbridled anarchy”. Reeling from the hoover impact, Jessop ground to a halt in the middle of the floor.

A quiet moment passed as his senses flooded back.

“It’s just me.” KitKat said, as she clung to Jessop’s ears.

“You dickhead.” Jessop said.

Thanks to Amy for the image!


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