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The life of Little Tony.

September 4, 2011

Regarding my recent absence, I can only type “sorry” and hope that it looks sincere enough for you to not be that bothered. Work has been extra busy so writing this nonsense in the evenings has not been an option. Now that work is provisionally returning to normal I hereby declare the nonsense back on! Thank you, here is a story:

Little Tony was the most notorious swan gangster on the lake, but he wasn’t one of those “street” gangsters that dance and all that shit, he was one of those “day of my daughter’s wedding” style gangsters that have desks and a cupboard of horse’s heads and stuff like that.

He had always been different from the other swans, not because he robbed banks with tommy guns (most swans do this) and smoked cigars, but because he had stayed grey and small like a signet, despite being 40 odd years old, which had earned him his nickname. Nobody really knew why this was, but the NHS have used him in an ad campaign citing his excessive cigar use as the cause.

Little Tony’s right hand swan was Big Jim, who also served as a gettaway vehicle and hiding place when the “pigs” were about:

Little Tony trusted Big Jim with his life, which seemed like a good idea until Big Jim accidentally sat on him.

And that was the end of Little Tony.

Image from here, found by the ever observant Dannie.

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