Archive for April, 2010

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The shocking truth.

April 28, 2010

Message to adolescent young girls:

If you let a boy/man kiss you with no clothes on, a flood of baby hamsters will continuously grow from the palms of your hands for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

Photo evidence:

It might look cute, but imagine them billowing out of your pores in a constant stream. It’s just not nice. You don’t want that.

So remember, be safe. No kissing.

Thanks to Miriam for the image, and presumably the watermarked site for creating it.

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The Prank.

April 20, 2010

Gertrude and Bellamy were never far from each other.

This was because someone had glued Bellamy to Gertrude’s back as a prank on April Fool’s Day.

It wasn’t funny anymore.

Image found by Amy, taken from here.

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A tale of two bastards.

April 8, 2010

Once, there was a cat called Manchester United, and a dog called Chelsea Football Club. They lived in the suburbs of Paris during the 1980s and drank wine almost continuously while chatting about their long and exciting lives.

Manchester United used to be a hunter. He told tales of his trips to Africa, recalling jumping out of bushes and shooting things, and then putting heads on his mantle, which Chelsea Football Club thought was a bit macabre for his tastes.

Chelsea Football Club liked to talk about his flower arranging business empire, and his playboy lifestyle. He crowed about the countless ladies that he had kissed on the mouth. Manchester United was upset by this, because he had only ever kissed two ladies on the mouth.

The two of them would talk for hours, get very drunk and fall asleep on one another like this:

Neither of them liked each other, really, but they didn’t have any other friends, because they were both complete bastards.

Thanks to Pete for finding it, and Winblog for having it on the internet in the first place.