Archive for March, 2010

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A dragonfly on an alligator or crocodile (I can’t tell).

March 29, 2010

You may have noticed that I didn’t do a post last week. Some people have already expressed concern to me about this in the form of aggressive sounding emails suggesting physical harm may befall me if the situation is not rectified (Dannie).

I apologise to you all for my less than average performance last week, I will try to meet your expectations this week, beginning with this:

I can’t think of a decently long story for it, so I guess I’ve let you all down again.

I’m starting to feel the pressure.

Found by Dannie, nicked from here.


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Late Mother’s Day special.

March 16, 2010

It was Mother’s Day in the UK (which is probably where mothers were invented) on Sunday, so this post is in honour of all that NONSENSE.

The story today is likely to be a bit shit, so I’m giving you two photos for the price of one. The price, incidentally, is no pounds.

Terry the baby polar bear and his mum, Hagrid, went out shopping. It’s quite hard to go shopping in the Arctic because there are no shops, but they somehow managed to buy a bottle of wine and a Fruit Shoot.

Terry was thrilled to have a Fruit Shoot, because it made him feel like one of those kids off the telly that didn’t live in the flipping Arctic. He guzzled it down happily while his mum drank the bottle of wine.

Sadly, in no time at all she had finished the wine and was quite drunk. She kept telling Terry about how much she loved him, and that dad would be back soon. She did this every Mother’s Day.

Eventually she passed out hugging Terry tightly, so he couldn’t escape.

He couldn’t get out until the next day.

Thanks to Miriam for these pics, she got them from here.

Also, you may have noticed I’m updating this around midweek once a week at the moment, this practice is likely to continue for the time being.

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A small man on a big gull.

March 10, 2010

I can’t really get my head around doing a story tonight, instead, I just have a picture that is arguably unsuitable for the site:

You might need to make it bigger.

Basically it LOOKS like that man is riding on that gull’s back. In actuality he is just flipping far away. I took this in Brighton last year, so I don’t have to credit anyone for this, except maybe Brighton, and myself.

Thank you Brighton, and myself.

Apparently it might have been taken by my girlfriend, she keeps saying “Are you sure you took it?!”

In all honesty I do not know.

So thank you Brighton, possibly myself, or possibly my girlfriend.

Jesus.

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The race of their lives.

March 3, 2010

It’s been too long. I’ve missed you all so much.

Today we have short story about harmony and love and all that bollocks that doesn’t really exist.

Keith the snail and Haagendazs the tortoise were fierce rivals on the racing circuits of Monaco. They fought over everything, women, seats on trains, and who had the biggest knees.

Their rivalry was so intense that they actively hated each other. Once, Haagendazs even put a bag of dog poo through Keith’s letter box!

Then, one day in Spring, during a particularly harsh race, Keith realised he was a snail and had no legs. He was very sad. Haagendazs’ cold heart melted and he offered Keith a lift. They crossed the finish line together and retired from racing to become bakers.

Taken from here (warning, shit loads of animated gifs), found by Will.